I was at church this past Sunday and the Pastor was teaching on John 3:16. “God so loved the World….” We all know that familiar verse. But it made me look at love in so many ways. The one thing that came to my mind was God is our Father and the love He has for us is something we cannot phantom. The closest love to the type of love God gives is the love between and mother and her children. Fathers cans experience that same type of love if they stay involved in the child’s life, no matter what!!! This means, if those parents are not together, they work together for the child!
In my book, I talk about the importance of a mother and father’s love. I discuss how important it is for daughters to have their father’s love as well as see their father love their mother. Boys need to have the love of their fathers as well as see how a man is supposed to love a woman. When my children were younger there were more single mothers than single fathers. Time has changed, and I have witnessed more single fathers on a rise. Many fathers have lost out on a lot because many mothers were angry that the relationship failed and used the child as a pond.
Both boys and girls need their mother and father. For the love of the child, if the parents are not together, co-parenting should be a priority. The sole parent needs to do everything to ensure that the other parent has some presence in the child’s life. If you do not do this, I can promise you will see the residual of a missing parent when that child gets older.
Let’s get back to what I am here to say about love. What does love look like? I have heard many people say my children are spoiled, I do everything for my children. In fact, my children are not spoiled my children are loved!!! This is what love looks like. I have an amazing relationship with my children. I have amazing communication with my children. The love I have for my children looks like they are spoiled, but in fact, it is teaching, guidance, and communication. I am sharing this because all those from the outside looking in saying they are spoiled do not know what love looks like. I want to share that love, so your children can look like they are spoiled but know they are loved. So, you can communicate and know whatever you say, and even when you and your children do not see eye to eye, the love is always there. My son shared something with me one day, that made me know he knows he is loved; he knows how much his mother loves him. Someone said to him your mother babies you! This was probably more than a year ago. He looked at me and said my mom just loves me! But what you see between me, and my mom is love, and clearly you do not know what love looks like. I just laughed.
We do not need to explain anything to anyone on the outside. However, I want to share some things I taught my children growing up. In the book, I do share how I did not have an instant connection with my daughter, and that relationship had to be built. With my son, it was instant motherhood. I will say once my son was born there was an instant connection and affection. The time I spent with my children, teaching them how to do things on their own, with me by their side watching and showing. As my children began to get older, I was teaching them to be independent. I taught them how to create their resume, and understand credit, and I taught them the things that were not taught in school. I wanted my children to know how to care for themselves. God gave me my children and told me to train them up in the way they should go. That means both biblically and naturally. I provided both of my children with a strong biblical foundation.
I am not perfect, and I made a lot of mistakes as a parent, as my children got older the communication got better, and I would explain to them, you are a young adult I have raised you and now all I can do is give you guidance and give advice. There are many times I must listen and not speak. There are times I had to allow them to go through, and it is hard. All I can say is I love you! There are those times I have to say, I must speak up now. I give both my kids respect as human beings. This has allowed them to trust me. I see many children who do not trust their parents. That is not what I wanted for my children,
In the book, I state LOVE is an action word. Yes, we need to say it daily, however, we also need to show it. We show it by raising our children to be independent adults. Giving them a great foundation. Not by what we can buy them, but by imparting knowledge and wisdom to them. Does this mean they will do it all right and not make mistakes? Of course not, it means as a parent you know you have done everything you were supposed to do as a parent to show your kids you love them. Do not forget to have fun with your kids also. These things are more than what you can give your kids financially, or any gift you can buy.
To read more about Love and my personal experience in regard to love and parenting go to my home page and click the link to purchase a copy of the book.